U remind me of a song that I once knew

Modern music, not referring to those without vocals, is a way to express how you feel at a certain time, or how you want to feel in a time of your life, or just to hint on your deepest fantasies, even fetishes.
Asian artists are still much more conservative on lyrics where love is still the main topic with wonderful songs that most of the time are of different topics, unlike the International English music scene.
In the past, songs only hint of sex and more on the lovely thoughts of being with that beloved someone. Nowadays, they openly come up with titles like 'I wanna fuck you', or hint in lyrics that how badly they wanna intercourse with someone. As a hot blooded male, I have on problem with it. For the gals, guess these songs make them feel sexy. Yet again, this culture only proves one thing - sex sells.
There was a time when drugs, sex, gambling, and all other sins were not added into music, where you only listen to the BeeGees asking 'How Deep Is Your Love', Air Supply telling everyone that I can't live, if living is without you, and Kenny Rogers is so sure that 'She Belives in Me'.
R&B, Hip Hop and Rap are the mainstream for sex sounds, what type of drugs makes you high and how would it feel to be killing someone or getting killed.
I have no problem with the artists creating such music as i am also a fan of the genre (i still like other types except for house music though). I do have a problem with the young, stupid, or naive minds listening to them.
Admit that when you listen to a song, you want to feel what they're singing and want the song relate to you somehow, anyhow and I would agree that you're just about as normal as the person beside you in the bus or the train, irregardless of race and age.
If you've do understand tamil, and you listen to their songs, their lyrics, you'll laugh your head off! It does nor make any practical sense at all, which sometimes tells alot about them, no offense though. A good song doesn't need over the top lyrics, but if they do have it, it'll be a plus point.
I've always thought of how would it feel if the person my favourite artist was referring to was me while singing it in the car, while bathing, while walking, in the karaoke cantre when i was young. Nowadays, i just sing, and sometimes a sentence in a song would jolt you back to reality fater than you can say bananarama. Jacky Cheung has a song called 'She came to listen to my concert'. I started to pay attention to that song after listening to it in my colleague's car back home. A sentence hit me like an apple on a tree while listening to it a few weeks later. If you do know the song, it is more about a girl who listens to his concert at different stages of her life. My sentence was 'Her boyfriend gave a rose to someone without her knowledge'. Made me think of what the hell i was doing!
All i know is that you shouldn't try to put yourself in a situation to relate to a certain song, a certain song will relate to you, if you are really listening to the lyrics, not just stuffing something to ward off all other noises around you.

Rainy days

Today was a rainy day. Once in awhile you'll get drenched easily no matter if you have a bloody umbrella or not. For now, i don't wanna be under the rain. I don't wanna get sick, and i don't like coming back in wet jeans, at least at the back of it. Why must it always be the back? I was thought to not get my head wet first.
Rainy days bring memories to me during different phases in my life. Generally, i still do love them. While young, or sleepy, or lazy, the best place to be during an outraged downpour would be under covers and in lala land. I was an asthmatic little kid and it was the best lying there in my bed, lying to my form teacher who would be lying to herself if she didn't believed i was not sick. I was so famous for being sick that Mrs. Ong didn't have to ask the class if they've seen me, she would just wait for the infamous pink slip, aka Medical certificate to be brought upon her table first thing in the following morning.
Life was good during those times. I could get so freaking sick that I can't even call out to my Ma and my Pa who was right beside me on their queen size bed fit for five, when we were young. I do miss those days, even the sick ones. At least i had a Ma around then.
Then there was the teenage years, where condoms were legends and porn were video tapes, guys teaching each other how to masturbate, video games were coolest, basketball was fantastic, and everyone wants to be the MAN! I missed my first crush most when we talk about rainy days.
She wasn't the one that i liked during the my last primary year. She was the one that i saw after graduation in the Grocery store right behind my house. I fell head over heels in love then, love at first sight then, so cool, so over now, but that was an incredible infatuation at that particular age. I didn't get to talk to her till I was in my third year then! I remembered the incident well since I'll always remember the burning sensation that i felt when i walked up to her while we were always on the same path to school. I really can't remember anything I've said but the sensation was irrefutable. 7 years after that day, i still loved it. Her mum's my hair stylist for now, but i guess i won't see her that way anymore (grin). Life has changed so much, that sometimes i ask myself if there was anything i would like to change in the past. The answer will be for me to regain the time i've not spent with my beloved Ma when i had the chance.


It was about a week or so in between for me to finish this blog. It's still been raining at different times of the day. Sometimes i wonder if there's a pattern just like my shift schedule, so that i could follow it and my clothes will be dried in the shortest time, i don't have to get caught in the rain when i'm outside.
So coming back to the subject of this blog, what does my first real crush have to do about rainy days? I walk to school everyday, so definitely there will be rainy days when i would wait for her even though i knew deep down that she doesn't like me and treats me as a friend, but i still waited. Sometimes i purposely forget to bring my umbrella during the monsoon only hoping that i could share her umbrella. Sometimes it does work but sometimes i had to walk back alone since those days discipline was strict and if her class goes off first, chances were she'll leave first. This shows how thick a guy's skin can be when he's in love, even if his love was not reciprocated.
The local comic store is along the path to my secondary school. I would always smile when i think of all the times in the rain with or without an umbrella. Come to think of it, i really had to thank my parents to at least have the decency to get a water resistant bag for me, i'm very particular about it even for now.
Recently, i met someone whom i shouldn'tve started meeting and one of our meetings ended in that exact comic store. I went in to update myself and then walked back in the midst of a thunderstorm which just started when i started walking. I remembered trying not to get wet for i wanted to wear the same pair of jeans to a dinner i'm going to later, but i focused mostly on not getting my head wet, which i did pretty well while my umbrella was slowly shedding apart. (that was how freakishly heavy the rain was). The thing is, i didn't take any time to reminisce of my walks back. That was sad, just plain sad.
Then speaking about my unforgivable meetings, there were times when we had to share an umbrella together in downpours so bad that the only way for both of us not to get wet was to stay tight. It felt, as flushed as the day i went up to my 1st crush, but not that strong. I sholdn't have these feelings, but i do.

Despite the whole asthmatic thing, i do enjoy being drenched under the rain in the right apparel. It feels like some sort of cleansing where I am reborned and ready to take on anything that's thrown to me in life. If i wrote this 10 years ago, i think the last sentence wouldn't mention anything about what i'm wearing under the rain, but things has changed so drastically since i have to wash my own clothes when I grow older, not more mature. Just older.

Tale of the Silver Spoons

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

How true is that? This is a tale of A couple called Jane & Watson, & their house mate, Mary.
Mary was the first (& main) tenant for the first place they stayed together. Generally there was not much arguements & everyone was happy staying together. Mary's the eldest daughter in her family with a younger brother which is more or less 15 years her junior, therefore she is loved & cared for thoroughly, to the advantage of Jane & Watson. Jane loves to cook for her boyfriend using mostly all of the cooking utensils Mary's mother brought from her house. Mary's parents believed in harmony between them housemates, willing to help out unselfishly anyway they can, to a certain extend, that is.

Construction works nearby kills the sleeping time for all 3 of them in their residence since they have to work in shifts. So they decided to move out to somewhere more quiet, but is that better now? It was known then that Mary became the sole breadwinner of her family. She was alright with it but the rental is only getting more expensive now. While moving in, Jane acted as the main tenant this time & forgot to ask for brand new mattresses for everyone, making it difficult to sleep with bedbugs on the bed, and the sofa bed in the living room. Jane & Watson managed to exterminate most of the bugs on their King-size & the sofa; Mary chose to get a new one whereby the landlord was not willing to pay the amount required (Jane forgot to ask for an extra cupboard for Mary then too).

Remember, when you've paid the agent they're fees, the scums will flee as fast as possible and throw your problems all around. This is reality.

Life was still fine for all 3 until they're landlord wanted to sell the place & increase the rental after the agreed minimum stay. Mary wasn't willing to pay more as the contract signed doesn't include anything like this; Watson's family needed somewhere to stay so he was alright with Mary moving, yet giving her priority if she wants to stay on. She did find a place to stay at the same price in beter conditions. The end.

Wait a minute, I haven't come to the good part yet right? So what about the silver spoons? How would you feel if you are using someone else's rice cooker, pots, pans, & all? My advice is Use Cautiously, they're not yours. You may end up breaking one of those exquisite glass lids for a pot where it can be used to fry an egg, just like Jane. This was not the only mistake that Jane did. Generally, she just didn't take care of stuff like non stick pans, plastic utensils, and ended up damaging most of the stuff. Damage can be a very delicate word here too. It depends on the person who defines it. For instance, to Jane damaging something will be like breaking an exquisite glass lid; but for Mary's mum, the owner of the utensils, damage is as serious as a broken lid or a scratched pan, wok, where things are not left the way it suppose to be. You may agree with either of them, which side you agree with also defines who you are.

Watson always had respect for Mary's parents since they helped Jane & him so much. There was once Watson left his keys in his room & he had an impotant meeting to attend soon. He ws rushing to work in the morning where Jane was outstation for the whole week. He thought it made his day when Mary woke up early too to open the front gate for him. Thankfully he reached work in time. Mary was considerate enough to wait for him to come back too before going off. Mary's dad helped him to break his room door & changed the lock in a blink. Now he knew that he had a wonderful day (but the day was even better later! But that's another story to tell).

Watson has some matching forks and spoons (which belonged to his late mother) left together with Mary's. Mary had to work yet she also needed to move out soon. Her dad's car must be used by that day too so her parent's decided to bring her cute little brother along and help her to move most of her stuff back since they do stay quite some distance away (Maybe countries apart). In a hectic rush of time, Mary's parents accidentally took Watson's silver spoons while packing up in record time. Jane saw it & told Watson in record time too. Watson felt that if Mary's mum really wanted it, it's alright since Jane broke something valuable of hers, such as a certain glass lid, but Jane made a fuss about it since it was valuable to her darling Watson. She casually asked Mary's mum about it whom was rushing around and brushed her off, denying such a mistake, according to Jane that is. Watson met Jane outside and she was still fuming about the way Mary's mum answered her.

Watson did the unthinkably stupid thing: he called Mary who was busy in work to ask of his silver spoon. He did asked if she was free to talk or if it was tea time first, but he popped the question anyway. Jane may or may not have disapproved of the phone call, but who knows? Sometimes the worst thing to do is to be blurry of your own intentions. That was the firestarter there.

Imagine getting a phonecall which sounded like a 'howler' from Harry Potter's world, in a library. Watson wouldn'tve imagined it since he got the chance to exxperience it first hand. He was burning like the Sumateran forest after the phone call, hating Jane for what he thought she started. Mary's mum was so mad that she demanded Watson to return the exact glass lid they broke. She didn't forget to berate Watson for making such a phone call to her daughter who was busy working, asking him to 'be a man, don't listen to everything your girl says!'. Watson can also remember listening Mary's nice and gentle dad adding to his wife's word from behind.

Red faced Watson went to hunt for the bloody lid to no avail. Instead he bought a set of glassware cooking utensils of the same brand. Mary's mum declined the token of guilt and claimed everything was a misunderstanding. Watson forced Jane to apologize, to repent, and to change. Jane did apologize while defending herself in a wailing way (Never shed a tear in a fight/apology/talk. It just makes you look literally small). So everything superficial was mended at that night.

Afterthought:
Does it matter who's right or wrong after something like this happened to you? Who would you not be in this situation? Is it right to judge any of them since you do not know both sides of the story? We're not paid or taught to be judges, so try not to do any free work badly, but then again, I wouldn't resist too. Until then, ciaoz.

Dreamt a little dream, a chemical romance?!?!

Hmm... u know what? Blogging is fun since i can just write out bloody long detailed stories aka Stephen King just like i always wanted, normally friends & family can't stand details, the way i see it that is.
Have you ever had a dream that will make your day? I mean literally smiling in your sleep and wake up feeling light-headed and doozy. I like such dreams and I only get it every once in a while.

There was once I laughed so hard in my dream, I could hear my brother shouting to my Ma, "My god, not only he talks, he laughs!"
That was the part where i woke up and tried to explain my dream to them. But the dream I'm referring to for now is much, more, recent.

I was up in my double storied home (staying somewhere else now due to work) waiting for my old crush to come over. We were meeting up for reasons I don't know of (still a dream). Anyway, she came over and we were chatting and all... Next minute, we were making out (I admit having dirty thoughts about that in my dream) but she stopped me since I am attached, I respected her decision as it's totally wrong to cheat.
Scene changes and something/ someone came up to my balcony to ask me to work for him. He was an Indian guy carrying a toy spider which moves deviously kinda like Chucky in Child's Play. I used my reasoning (and scolding) to 'make him go away' (as if right?). She was holding me all along.
After that we went off to some book store called 'Jin Cheng' (Mandarin for Golden City) to get some stuff. I acted as the normal browser I was (constantly browsing, picking up stuff to pay, but putting them back at the last minute) while she chose her stuff. She was ready to pay while Iwas ready to change my book again, I forgot it was because of the cover not in good condition or just because I wanted to change another title, anyway that's how i act, indecisive, sometimes. I ran the way you expect the charactors from The Matrix ran (I kinda have that in some of my dreams since I find it super cool to leap super long steps while staying low liek a cheetah!)
After shoppng in Jin Cheng, my dad and I took her back to her place, which was different in real life. Her place in the dream is a bungalow with 3 generations of her family living together while in reality she stays far from her immediate family which only consists of her parents and her brother.
I was waiting for my girlfriend there while having a sense of something else going on between me and my old crush. My girl did came over but waited on the 3rd floor while old crush and I was downstairs in a corner for visitors to watcg tv etc. but we were not watching tv then, she was confessing dumping her boyfriend while waiting for me, showing me all the my past gifts (Reality: I did give her a call to see how she was during her birthday, I'm not infatuated of her anymore but I still regard her as a friend). The feeling then was undescribable, in short I was really touched. Too bad though, that was the end of the dream.

Coming back to reality one more time, I do have a girlfriend but I can't say that I'm the most faithful guy around. This all depends on personal beliefs, principle, religion, etc. Too long to continue but just ponder on this:
Won't it be nice when you know that there IS someone there meant for you, waiting for you?

I have not found mine. I don't believe in love at first sight anymore. I definitely don't believe that you'll find your true love in life.
The next time I post, it will be about an interesting arguement I'd like to call 'Tale of the silver spoon'.

Finally, why is this blog titled chemical romance? My old crush's nick name within some of my friend was KCl (Potassium Chloride), and if one day she reads this, I just want her to know that I liked her once in my life, but this dream doesn't mean that I'll try to go after you again. But then again, who knows? Anything can bloody happen...

Blogs sounded as a bad idea to me, but sometimes i think alot, so what better way than to just write it down. This is for my own pleasure, MY OWN ONLY. Those who read my blogs, if you don't like it, don't even bother.

Now, talking abt night sights, i work in a refinery and i've learnt to hate/love working there for various reasons, but one day during night shift, when the plant was on hold (after shutdown, before startup), i had to stay on top of one of the columns which was abt maybe 7 storeys high.
I haven't been on top of a column at night, climbed up one of it during my 21st birthday at the end of my night shift, but not late at night. I've always wondered why one of my trainers loved the night view of the plant, since it's just, full of fluorescent lights (refineries waste energy for us PTs to see better outside). By the way, i work in an island, and the sight to mainland, around the refinery was fantastic, ecstatic, neurotic, hypnotic! I'd love to take a photo of the scenery but photos are not allowed, i won't bring my digital camera or mobile phone in there and get myself killed for a freakin spark created when the atmosphere's explosive anyway!

I started to think alot up there, alot of what i've been doing the past few months and what has happened that has changed my life so much, but ireally don't enjoy writing too long here. Until then, keep in touch ppl.